Friday, September 10, 2010

I apologize

I am sorry for the lack of posting. This past week or so has been very rough on me for various reasons. I finally mustered up some steam to want to do house work last night. I still have laundry to fold,so that will get done tonight.

I can promise you that tomorrow,I will be back on track and posting like usual again though!

Just so you aren't left high and dry,I did finish my last appointment for my social security benefits case today. So hopefully that is the last thing I will have to do related to my case,and my next step will be getting accepted,and I start receiving my benefits that I honestly deserve and so badly need right now! I can't wait for that day where I can say I WAS ACCEPTED!!!

Thursday, September 2, 2010

This body will no longer make babies

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OeS4Bx1l3Gs

I did a video blog today. I thought I would talk a little about it in text form as well.

This morning,I went to my ob/gyn. After thinking long and hard about it and talking it through with Brent,we have decided that that best thing for me is to get my tubes tied. After talking with my doctor as well,he with no hesitation agreed that it was the best decision to make. He said himself that this was a smart idea.

Is this what I want? Yes,of course. I would never want to  put myself at any risk. I know the chance of me getting pregnant again would be a huge risk to take. It would actually be foolish of me not to do this. I have gone through two whole pregnancies. I am quite positive that this is why I am so bad off now physically. My body was not this terrible before I was ever pregnant. I do not want to risk worsening my condition,possibly even being wheelchair bound. I also have a son to look after now. Being pregnant would not allow me to care for Seth the way he needs to be cared for. As I got bigger in a pregnancy,I would be on full bed rest,barely being able to sit up to go to the bathroom. There's no possible way I would be able to be int hat condition while having a 1 year old boy to care for.

What if you want more kids in the future? I already have an amazing son,why do I need more? This country is obsessed with more more more,that's why the poverty levels are so high,and the obesity rates are through the roof. One is perfectly fine for us. Brent and I both agree that having one child will be much better for us in many different ways than having two or 3 or 10! Seth does not NEED a brother or sister to play with. I was told this yesterday by someone,that he NEEDS a sibling. He has friends he can play with,he has uncles,and cousins,and family members of all ages he can play with. He will do just fine being an only child. Plus,this will give me more time to focus on just him to teach him things,take him places,and help him with whatever he may need. Plus it's always cheaper to go with one than more.

Why not have Brent get a vasectomy? If he were to come out and say he wanted it done,that would be a different story. He didn't though. It is not my place to go out and ask him to go and get a life changing surgery just because I didn't feel like it. This was MY idea though. I WANT this done. I can't live with the fear of possibly getting pregnant again. I really don't know how I would live through another pregnancy.

I am so tired today,so my video blog is kind of all over the place,and I left out alot of things,but I got the point across. If you have any other questions for me about this topic,please ask!

The surgery is October 4. It is an outpatient surgery. With a pretty quick recovery rate. He said since I have had multiple operations in that area,he may need to make a bigger incision. If that were to happen,then I would have to stay in the hospital overnight for a while. He said that is very rare though.

This surgery is going to be a breeze compared to any other surgery I've had before. Hell,I took care of Seth right after having a Csection. Everyone was shocked at how well off I was so quickly. I am a tough little thing,I really don't see this surgery being a big deal at all.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

You don't need a huge family to have huge love

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3hDIpCs2A5s

The video blog seen above talks about wanting children in the future or not. That's exactly what this blog will be about as well!

My mind may have changed since that video,but these are my thoughts on the subject as of today.

I have thought long and hard about this,and Brent and I have also sat down and talked about it together. We both agree that we are just fine with the daughter we had,and the son we have now. We don't need many kids to be happy. We also both agree that having just Seth to pay attention to would be easier for us. Plus the way I am emotionally and physically,it will always be much easier for me to focus on one child. Seth will be able to learn things much better and faster because all my attention will be on him at all times,and I won't have another child to focus on and teach things to and all that. Plus I will only have one child to run after and pick up and hold,and physically it will be better to have the one child to run after and all that. Also,it's much cheaper to care for one child than multiple!

It would also probably be very foolish of me to even think about being pregnant again. I have been pregnant twice already. I can guarantee you that is why I am so bad off now physically than I was before I ever had kids. Being pregnant has taken a toll on my body severely,and permanently. I would also find it impossible to take care of Seth at all when I got bigger if I were pregnant. I would be on constant bed rest by 5 or 6 months,and that would be completely unfair to Seth.

So in conclusion,Thursday I am going to my ob/gyn to talk about either getting my tubes tied or maybe putting an IUD in. Condoms just make sex more complicated for us for many reasons,and I have tried many different pills and every single one of them has affected me negatively. So I need to find a different means of birth control.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Even though I don't have a job,I still contribute

Today,I am going to talk about how I contribute to society,and my household.

You can see the video blog here where I also talk about this subject.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hhHZ7hgmg8A

When I was a teenager,and in my very early 20's,I had various jobs,some full time,some part time. As time goes by though,my body seems to be getting worse. So I am really not even able to work a part time job anymore. It's just too much strain on my body. Even a desk job isn't something I can do now.

I am on the journey to getting social security benefits,for the 5th try now. I am really working my ass off,trying to get these benefits. My family needs them,and since i really can't work anymore,I need them as my income.

I do have a job that I work a few Saturdays and sometimes Fridays a month. I work door at local concerts. I take peoples money,check ID's and give marks on under aged kids' hands and give bracelets for 21+ adults. I get to listen to amazing music,and have some awesome laughs with my friends,and in the end I make a bit of spare money for my little family. Sometimes even that job is too much for me,and I have to take pain medicines before,during or after I work just to get by. It does help to have the spare money,because you never know when we'll need it.

Other ways I make money now and then, is by selling the pictures I take. I have picked up photography as a hobby,and once in a while my photos sell. I also sell random things,like Seth's clothes that don't fit him,or random things he is no longer using.

So I do contribute when I can. I don't just expect Brent,my husband to do everything for his family,this is my family too. When I can,I sure do help. I usually use the money I make to buy Seth new clothes or diapers or anything else he may need. Sometimes we need a bit of gas to hold us over until next pay day,or phone minutes. Even though it's not full time income or anything,it really does help,because my money always seems to come in when we need it most! We're just lucky that way.

It has been a very long time since we have asked anyone for money. It's a good feeling when you don't have to rely on others to take care of you.

I am always looking for free things to pick up. Either online,or people giving away things. Free is the best price,no matter what you're getting. So that also helps. Me staying home with Seth while Brent works also helps because if Seth were to go to a daycare of any sort,it would probably not even be worth it with how much day cares charge these days.

So,it's not much,but it's something. Sometimes it's enough to keep us going,sometimes it's not,but that's the way it goes sometimes!

Friday, August 27, 2010

My daily duties

As you may or may not know,I have a youtube channel. I do video blogs.

http://www.youtube.com/user/MommaMcClay

It's basically the same concept as this blog here. Except you can hear my words and see me talking. I thought Now and then I would post my previous videos and then talk about the Vlog in more detail in blog form.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T2iiwtkN-II

In this video,I tell you about my daily duties,as a mother and a house wife. (It is quite possible that things have changed since I did this video. Things are always changing around here)

More often than not,I sleep in,in the mornings. My husband,Brent's shift is the morning shift with Seth. Since he works from 4-10 or 11 at night. Plus,if I don't get enough sleep,I am literally useless. My body won't respond correctly when it is exhausted,I get severe headaches,dizzy,fatigued,you name it. So it makes it very hard to do anything at all if I am very tired. So I usually sleep in until 9 or 10. Unless we have a doctors appointment or something early in the morning,then I would get up for that.

When I get up,I get dressed,wash up or take a shower,depending on my mood,brush my teeth and hair. About the time I get up,Seth is just waking up from his nap,so I will get him out of his crib and change his diaper then get him dressed for the day. Sometimes Brent goes back to bed for a nap,or rests on the couch. Depending on his mood. Seth and I will play or read for a while,or sometimes he wants to watch a show,or play by himself,so I end up checking my email and what not while he does that.

If Brent is sleeping at the time,I usually make something small for lunch for Seth and I. A sandwich or something for me,and either something left over or just random things for Seth. If Brent is awake,some days we will go out to lunch,or we make something bigger,since Brent works nights,we usually have supper type foods for lunch,like spaghetti,so he can have something special with us.

It's time for more playtime after that. Up until about 12 or 1,then it's usually Seth's nap time. This is when I read a book,or do random things online. Some days he doesn't take afternoon naps though. If we need to run errands that day,we would usually do it after lunch,and Seth will nap in the car. Depending on the weather,we take Seth to the park or swimming some days too.

By about 3:30 Brent is off to work. Some days Seth will be just going down for a nap at this time as well. So if he were to be napping I would chat with friends online,or blog, or read,or if I feel up to it,I do chores that need done.

Seth and I eat supper around 5. Usually I make some sort of noodle meal since Seth loves all kinds of noodles. Or if I am too tired,I will just make something small like a sandwich and left overs or something small for Seth. Seth usually takes a nap around 6. So then I would usually do the dishes or the litter boxes,or whatever chore needs done.

About 7 or so Seth wakes up,and it's time to take his medicine. After that we play,watch a show,or read,or all 3.

Around 8,on certain nights,it's bath night for Seth,so I give him a bath. After that I get him dressed,brush his teeth,give him a drink and put him to bed at 8:30.

Then I do any chores I didn't get done the rest of the day,I play a video game,read,or do things online. It all depends on my mood.

Depending on the day of the week,Brent gets home around 11 or later from work. We spend time together either watching a movie or TV,we play a game or just lie in bed and talk. I usually go to sleep around 12 or 1.

Do you have any questions about my day? Please ask!

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Welcome! Make yourselves comfortable!

Hello! I am so glad you decided to take a peek at my little blog spot! I should start out by telling you a bit about myself.


My name is Heather. I was born and raised in Minnesota, I have been living in Illinois now for 5 years now. I like it here. I got married to the love of my live (Cliche' or not I love the man) on October 28,2006. We have 3 lovely cats. My husband and I met online. He is able bodied,and I am disabled.

I was lucky enough to be born with a disability called Spina Bifida,so that means I was born with a congenital defect in which the spinal column is imperfectly closed so that part of the meninges or spinal cord protrudes, often resulting in hydrocephalus and other neurological disorders. Hydrocephalus means "water on the brain" so I need a shunt (tube) in my head to help my brain drain the fluid out. Like I said,I was lucky to be born this way,because if I wasn't born the way I was,who knows if I would of been able to meet the wonderful people I have met,or be able to do the awesome things I have done? Never say you wish you could change yourself,because if you did, your whole life could change.

My husband was not born with a disability of any kind, and it just amazes me at how well he puts up with everything that comes with me and being disabled and what not. It's like he's done this his whole life,his caring for me just seems to come naturally. I am so thankful everyday that I found Brent when I did,and we can spend our whole lives together,he means the world to me.

Our baby girl,Willow Jean died unexpectedly on April 2,2008.She was born December 11,2007. It has been a total blow to the whole family.In time we will all heal though.

We welcomed our first son to the world! April 28,2009. Seth William. He is the light of my life,I couldn't ask for a sweeter son. You will hear so much more about him as time goes on.

Now that you know a bit more about me,and you will learn more and more as time goes by,why don;t I tell you why I decided to make this blog....


Like I said,I am disabled. I am a mother to a wonderful 1 year old boy,I am a wife,and my job consists of being a mother and taking care of my house as best as I can. You will learn more and more as time goes on,what it is like for someone like me to live the life that I do! I plan on posting every day. I am always willing to answer questions you may have related to anything you can think or really that you might want to know about my disability and way of life!

I hope you enjoy this little blog I have,and maybe you know someone else who might enjoy this,and you can spread the word to them!